UGH

I would like my own space to live in, please! I am tired of co-existing with family in one house. This is why you're suppose to move out at 18 ..... & stay out!

BALLS

I finally was able to just tell Alex I couldn't be in that relationship. He told me he'd never talk to me again, then texted me 20 times thereafter. He said I should just "go sleep with everyone" ??! & now he keeps telling me he loves me & still wants to be with me. I stopped responding last night and yet he persists. I thought things would be different because his life is soo different after being out of the hospital. He's not on drugs, he's recovering from head trauma, & yet he still freaks out on me.....

Everybody's getting on my nerves lately.

HOME

I had an interesting time in Missouri.
My throat was real sore & I couldn't stop coughing for several days before we left, so when we got there Saturday I decided to take one of my grandfather's vicodin. And 4 hours later I took another one, so I wouldn't be in pain during the special dinner for my grandfather's retirement. (It was a huge deal, my step-grandma fussed over for months & wouldn't even let us change the seating....) Taking the second was a horrible mistake that I payed for greatly. I don't know why it turned on me, seeing as I have taken pain killers in larger amounts before. But it all came crashing down right as the dinner was starting & I spent the whole night in the bathroom, puking in tights & heels. There was a wedding going on a few rooms down, so the ladies got to hear my ralphing when they took trips to the restroom. The funniest part is that when I got up to go run to the bathroom, my Nana gave me the dirtiest look. Did she want me to sit back down & barf all over the place setting??? Which would ruin the evening she had planned more? Ugh.
Worst of all, my cousins & I were gonna go to a piano bar downtown after the dinner......I missed out on that, too, seeing as I was still in agony at the condo & went to bed before the sun went down. I was so bummed I couldn't go out with them :(
Monday we took a tour of College of the Ozarks. The past few months I've been wanting to go there. Visiting the campus again, from a students' perspective, made me sure it's where I want to be. My grandpa just retired from 40 some odd years of professing various religion courses at the school. So, now's my chance to go!
I have a lot of work to do in order to make it happen though......

oh & Mother's Day was pretty good. I am so thankful to have my sweet little man in my life, no matter how difficult things have been the past few years. He's worth it all.

SORE GUM

I woke up this morning & my left ear & left side of my jaw were in soo much pain. Boooo.

Things have been stressful, however I am going out of town again this Friday. It'll be nice to see family!