SHTUFF

*Open, exposed
I can't escape all the glass
Guts of bugs splattered in my line of sight
My mind, my eyes
I can't make clean enough
A reflection staring back at me
On a path I didn't think I'd take
There's nothing big enough to hide behind
And I can't swallow it down fast enough
On my knees, take me back
You can paint my face, invade my soul


*Stick all the tubes back inside me
I am in pain wherever I go
I sabotage myself, I know it
These things just creep up all around me
I can feel it, never see it
Until it's too big to control
I need the security of doctors
Checking on me daily
All the pills keep my pain
Just below the surface
Lull me back to sleep
Things seem better in my dreams


*Smoldering
Who's smothering?
You let it go to a place
Where I can't take it back
And the blame just suits you
So much better
I can't relax
With all of the predicaments
Circling my head
Sedation keeps the beast at bay
I only wanted an arm to hold me up
And a pulse to fall asleep upon
But I can adjust
The drinks are poured
So I can slip away
With no thoughts at night
I hold too many burdens inside
Everyone one of them my own fault

YIKES

The past couple of months have been a huge trainwreck. I have some good memories, but I have really screwed some things up & am now trying to mend them.

Also, my feelings are pretty hurt.